Author: ZP

Spartacus

Spartacus

Last night I watched Spartacus with a friend (see post picture). We enjoyed watching the inspiring tale of a slave revolt led by a man portrayed as loving freedom and fighting honorably for its acquisition.

Spartacus begins with an introduction to the main character, Spartacus, who is a Thracian slave. After biting the ankle of one of his superiors, he is left out to starve as an example to the other slaves. He is saved, however, when a gladiator trainer comes and purchases him. He is brought off to gladiator school, where he and the other gladiators are trained. This is where he meets his love interest and future wife, Varinia. When they first meet, however, it is because the gladiator school gives women to the gladiators they like the best as a reward. Spartacus decides not to treat Varinia as a piece of sexual meat when she is given to them because his captors are watching and want to see him act like an animal (which he refuses to do). They then take Varinia away and torment him by keeping her from him, but their love grows after this. 

Eventually, Crassus comes with Glabrus and some women who want to see a private gladiator fight to the death (which the gladiator trainer never does because it’s bad for morale). A steep price is offered, however, and the gladiator trainer consents. Spartacus is chosen to be one of the gladiators to fight, but even though his opponent bests him, his life is spared when said opponent then turns and attacks the spectators. For this, he is strung up dead to rot in the slaves’ barracks as a warning to the others. This makes all the gladiators uneasy, and a revolt subsequently breaks out during a meal. Spartacus and his fellow gladiators overrun their captors and begin pillaging. When Spartacus sees the others treating Romans the way they had previously been treated, he stops them, calls them to be the bigger men, and releases the Romans who were being forced to fight to the death. He then leads his people on their revolt, setting slaves free and building an army of freed slaves. Glabrus, having been given command of Rome’s garrison, takes six cohorts to go squash the slave rebellion. Because he seems them as mere slaves, he is careless and doesn’t build a moat and blockade. He is therefore easily overrun, and returns to Rome in shame. Crassus eventually takes control of the army and goes to crush the revolt, making deals to ruin their plans to escape by sea on pirate ships. The two armies face off, and Spartacus’ army is defeated. He is later crucified along the road to Rome with all the other survivors.

I enjoyed this movie and found it very moving. My friends and I got a good chuckle out of the outdated effects used to make it look like a man’s arm was cut off. I also found it interesting to hear the conversation between Glabrus and Crassus about how Crassus refused to march on Rome. He said he wanted to save Rome and its traditions, and not violate Rome in the process. In this conversation, Glabrus brings up Sulla, and Crassus denounces Sulla’s actions as bringing infamy to Sulla’s name. This demonstrates the Roman conception of infamia.

Gladiator: Summary and Reflection

Gladiator: Summary and Reflection

I watched Gladiator on Wednesday, April 20 with some friends (some of whom are in Roman Revolutions and some that are not. Three of us are shown in the post picture). The movie begins with Maximus leading as a general in the north fighting off barbarians in a brutal battle scene. I was surprised at how gruesome it was, especially considering it was the opening scene. It definitely set the tone for the nearly three hours of backstabbing (both literally and figuratively) that was to come. 

After the battle, Commodus, the ambitious and loathsome son of the benevolent current emperor Marcus Aeralius, and his sister arrive at the front. Commodus expects he is being called out to the front so that he can be named the next emperor of Rome, but comes to find that his father favors Maximus instead. Marcus Aeralius offers Maximus the position of emperor because he knows Maximus doesn’t want it and would give the senate back its power, but Maximus just wants to go home to his wife and son. While Maximus is contemplating what to do, Marcus Aeralius tells Commodus of his intentions to make Maximus emperor, which (put simply) royally pisses Commodus off. Commodus feels like his father loves Maximus as the son he never had, the son who displays the virtues on his father’s list, while he, Commodus, was never good enough. He decides to give his father a killer hug (quite literally) and has Maximus taken off to be executed. 

Maximus, however, escapes and rides home to his family. As he approaches, he sees that his farm has been ransacked by the Roman army, his home is burned, and his wife and son have been crucified in the fire. He passes out, is found by slave traders, and ends up becoming a gladiator. At first he won’t fight, but then he learns he can earn his freedom, so he absolutely demolishes all the competition. He is brought to Rome to fight in the colosseum,  where, after a shocking victory, Commodus the emperor comes down to meet him. Maximus reveals himself and Commodus wants to kill him, but he has “won the people” and is thus untouchable. Through many more battles, Maximus continues to defy Commodus and comes to be known as the hero of Rome. Tensions rise in the senate as Commodus plans to dissolve them, and Lucilla, Commodus’ sister, goes to Maximus as a last hope to save Rome. At first he denies, but he later sees one of his former soldiers who is still loyal to him and has him tell Lucilla he will do it. However, Commodus learns of the plan, and on the night when Maximus plans to escape and retrieve his army to march on Rome, Commodus sends an ambush.

With Lucilla, her son, and all the rest of Rome under his finger, Commodus sets up a duel with Maximus so he can finally kill him and remove any threat to his power. Commodus, knowing Maximus is an absolute beast, gives himself an advantage by stabbing Maximus and hiding the wound under armor. Maximus is still an absolute beast, however, and still kills Commodus. The senate is restored and Rome is saved. Maximus enters the afterlife to see his family smiling at him.

My friends and I were all surprised by how graphic and gory the movie was. The amount of brutally depicted death was immense, but it was also heart-wrenching to see the pain it caused Maximus to see so many of his friends and family killed. Overall, I enjoyed the movie and was moved by its display of fortitudo. I also found it interesting how they incorporated other Roman virtues like fides (when the senator had to simply trust that Maximus would keep his word and go home after marching on Rome), clementia (when the crowd loved Maximus for being merciful), and dignitas (when they talked about the dignity of the government).

Cati-Lines: Another Roman Diss Track

Cati-Lines: Another Roman Diss Track

Lucius Sergius Catalina
You dance around pretty
Like a ballerina

But you should be condemned
Let me issue your subpoena
Cuz while you’re cute on the stage
You kill to win in the arena

Fides?
You have none
Veritas?
Yeah right son

What is your virtue?
Making the republic sterile like a nun

When I procreate
I procure
Praetors Quaestors and Consuls
While your progeny
Should get proscribed
And get cut out like they’re tonsils

I’m like the coin man
I make change
Call me a catalyst
And I make a high rate
Off my hate
Irate like I’m Catullus

I can’t quit, Catiline
I can’t copy your antics
You’re just obsessed with power
And you chase it so frantic

You act so pure
You act so pedantic
But you’re stirring up a scandal
To make the people panic

Yeah you scandal-plagued tyrant
You’re like Odysseus’ sirens
Cuz you speak well and have charm
But alarms should sound as you cross the horizon

You want to reach the high rung
Become consul and get that power
But you supported Sulla’s terror
So it’s you who should cower

Your heart has poor taste
Your virtus is so sour
You claim to be for the people
Yet their dignitas you devour

You’re an elephant in the room
You’re the greatest showman
You’re a danger to us all
You’re an ugly omen

You pretender for the people
You Populares
You’re a hoe and a heathen
Yeah you’re truly a hostis

You slept with a Vestal Virgin
And you thrive on your corruption
You abuse your power and murder family
But claim to be the people’s champion?

Thumbs down
Cut you up
Put you in a sack to drown
With snake, monkey, chicken, and pup

I hate you and all you stand for
I think you are scum
I think your bloodline should be ended
We should cut off your cum

Romans lend me your ears
I need your attention
Catiline tries to attain force
But we need his force’s attenuation

And it needs to come quick
Before the light of the Republic is undone
We need to stop this bum
Before his moon eclipses our sun
Capitol-Lines: A Roman Diss-Track

Capitol-Lines: A Roman Diss-Track

Like a pierced cherry pie
I put a spear through your eye
Like the carnage from Carthage
At the battle Cannae

You try to stare me down
But I hold my penis up
You try to snare me, what a clown
I won’t get cursed by such a chump

You’re red
You’re bloody
Watch your dignitas and pride
Cuz while you were in forum
Man, I ran the Capitoline!


You try to come for me
But you’ve got a weak nomin
I’m like tribunal veto, I shut you down
Yeah I simply say no, man

I know you wanna be prestigious
Like a praetor
I know you wanna make your mark
Leave a dent, leave a crater

But you should really watch
What you say sir
Cuz you speak like a Greek
Not a Roman Orator

Your dreams of prestige
Will leave you on the pavement prostrate
While the men who are truly pro-state
Examine your prostate

You want to litigate
And legislate
And mitigate troop migration
But I tell you you’re just a headache
Yeah you’re a real migraine, son

You wanna be a consul or a censor
But I’ll censor your fate
So if you wanna deflect my curse
Why don’t you go back home and masturbate
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